


Your Smile Is Like Cyanide & Sunshine

by SilverButterfly111



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Blood, M/M, POV Kevin, Strexcorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 23:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16169078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverButterfly111/pseuds/SilverButterfly111
Summary: Kevin hated the StrexCorp CEO.He hated his smile most of all.A collection of Kevin/Diego one-shots written loosely enough to be taken separately or together.In light of Episode 135. I've decided to post my Kevin/Diego headcannons.





	Your Smile Is Like Cyanide & Sunshine

**Author's Note:**

> A collection of Kevin/Diego one-shots written loosely enough to be taken separately or together.
> 
> Line breaks are either separate or can be taken as separate stories.

“Are you eavesdropping?”

Intern Vanessa jumped at Kevin's singsong voice and spun to flash her boss with a guiltless grin though to her credit her amber eyes gave away a bit of reserved fear. Funny, Kevin never would have pegged Vanessa Byrne as a gossip and yet, here they were.

“You're not being very subtle about it.” Kevin added as he slipped into the nearest leather chair. Elbows coming to a rest on his knees as he jerked his head towards the closed conference door. “Out with it, what's going on?” He’d said that he'd never peg Vanessa as a gossip. He said nothing about himself.

_“Meeting_.” Vanessa mouthed, ear still pressed to the gleaming mahogany door of the conference room.

Kevin could almost feel his eyebrow lifting of its own accord; curiosity officially peaked even if he is a bit more than miffed.

“No one told me about any meeting.” Vanessa offers him a none too sympathetic shrug.

_“CEO.”_ Vanessa mouthed again. Snarling at another one of the interns who's been trying to edge towards the door to catch the conversation on the other side.

The smaller girl flinches away and retreats back to a safer distance of about twenty paces. Kevin might have been a bit more sympathetic but at the moment an echoing snarl has crawled out of his throat. His disgusted scoff hanging in the air for a moment before Vanessa seemed to fully process his disdain. Her expression looks personally offended, at least what part of her expression Kevin manages to glimpse before he's turned his back on her and consequently the door.

“What's _that_ supposed to mean?” Vanessa quips cheerfully, curious enough to both forget to be quiet and abandon the door.

Kevin didn't bother to grace the curious intren with a response as he continued his retreat to the break room and the scent of coffee.

Vanessa’s persistent.

“You have a bone to pick with the high-ups.” She deduced. “You’re still bitter about the the whole…'Questionable takeover’?

Kevin scoffed into his coffee cup. “That's what we're calling it now? Someone's been reading their employee pamphlet.”

“Of course I have.” Vanessa snapped. Kevin could feel his face shifting as he tried to settle for an expression that would even come close to the emotion he was trying to convey. Sometimes him and Vanessa got along so well that he forgets she works for the corporation that had ruined his life.

….That he worked for the corporation that had ruined his life.

“Santos!”

Kevin bit back whatever response he'd been trying to formulate and turned his attention to the voice that was coming down the hallway herald by the clipped footfalls of stiletto heels.

“Did you really have to-”

“We had a disagreement.” A second voice cut in smoothly. Then there's two people pausing in the doorway to the break room. Wreathed in the scent of fresh blood.

“Still.” The woman insists again as she twists a strand of mocha brown hair- bleached blonde at the tips- around her finger. Though she doesn't seem terribly upset as she examines the blood on her fingernails as though it's a particularly good manicure.

The man simply shrugged as he wiped blood from his knife on his suit sleeve. “There's a reason they call them stilettos.”

“There's a difference between stiletto heels,” Lauren stomps her foot against the white tile floor to empathize her point. The sound reverbing like a gunshot the comparison holding rather accurate by the fact that blood splatters from the point of impact and settles on the floor. “And, a stiletto knife.” Lauren waves her hand at the weapon that Diego is spinning deftly in his fingers.

“Not much from what I've just seen.” The two of them retreat down the hall once more evidently done with their little display of power and demonstration of corporate hierarchy.

Kevin glares at Diego’s back, contemplating sliding a knife blade between the man's broad shoulders. Vanessa misinterpreted his expression and elbowed him in the ribs.

“I call dibs on Mr. Tall, Dark and Gorgeous.”

Kevin scoffed. “Tall, Dark and Psychotic you mean,” Vanessa nodded enthusiastically. “You can have him.” Kevin quips drily as he stalked from the room, smearing the blood left behind by his suppressors further across the floor.

___________

“Move.” Vanessa growled at Korina. The other intern shot Vanessa a glare and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

“Move!” Vi demanded again. Forcefully pushing the rival intern away from Kevin's desk.

“This is important.” She snapped over her shoulder. Korina relented with a glare and made a point of stepping on the back of Vanessa's heel. Vi hardly flinched but Kevin knows contemplating murder when he sees it.

“Look what I found!” Vanessa declared triumphantly as she taps the company-issued yellow laptop embossed with the StrexCorp logo. She's cleared a space on the desk for the portable computer and turned it on before Kevin can even ask what it is that she's found or figure out if he honestly wants to know. He has his answer.

“You internet-stalked the head of StrexCorp.” Kevin's question isn't really a question or at least an unnecessary one seeing as how he's now staring at a web generated image of Diego standing shoulder to shoulder with Lauren- the two of them flashing nearly identical smiles at the camera.

Kevin scowls at the image. He despises that smile, bright as sunlight and sharp as a knife.

“Well you certainly weren't going to.” Vanessa states matter-of-factly.

“Of course I wasn't.” Kevin replied equally matter-of-fact.

“Well you should have,” Vanessa continued, oblivious to Kevin's express of disinterest. Or simply not caring. Most definitely the former.

“Look at this.” Vanessa swivels the laptop around and clicks another tab pushing the laptop back to Kevin with a flourish. “He's a phycologist! Isn't that just the most ironic thing, you calling him a psychopath and all. It's like your psychic or something!”

Kevin rolls his eyes at yet another picture of Diego's poisonous smile. Unimpressed by it and Mr Santos' educational background, Vanessa's unwarranted enthusiasm- at the whole situation in general really. “I'm not psychic.” Kevin montoned.

Vanessa shrugged only half listening. She's clearly made it her personal mission to make Kevin change his opinion of the man.

“Why exactly are you doing this? I thought you called dibs.”

“Oh I soooo~ did!” Vanessa singsongs, eyes glued to her laptop as she scrolled through; the picture tab again from what Kevin can see of it.

“I'm bragging at this point, honestly I have no idea where this man came from but-” she cuts off with an alarmingly sharp squeal.

“OhmySmilingGod. He has dogs!!? If you don't think that's the cutest thing ever youhavenosoul!!”

“No. Soul.” Vanessa repeats as she's turning the laptop so that Kevin is attacked by another picture of Diego Santos. Still smiling- does the man ever stop? Although admittedly this smile seems a bit less…. controlled? Whoever took the picture had either caught him off guard or he's genuinely more at ease.

And even though Kevin considers himself more of a cat person he has to admit that the dogs are cute.

There's three of them; a black and tan German Shepherd standing at attention on his right side, a golden retriever puppy curled up asleep by his feet and a beagle puppy sitting in his lap and looking at the camera as it wagged its tail back and forth.

“I'm more of a cat person.” Kevin admits with a shrug. Vanessa blinks in disbelief at this and moves to fiddle with the keyboard again.

Kevin slams the laptop lid on her fingers; rewarded with guilty satisfaction when she flinched from the pain.

She still doesn't look quite ready to give up with this little mission of hers but she doesn't have much time to retaliate.

“Hey, Kev. Ted’s finally finished with the extended forecast for this week. He wants to run it by you first, see what you think.”

Intern Blaine slides a CD case across the desk and Kevin picks it up and considers it for a moment.

“Thank you Blaine, it's nice to know that someone is doing their job.” Kevin shot Vanessa a pointed look and she scoffed.

Blaine for his part smirked at Vanessa.

The Head Intern lifts her chin with a huff and frees her fingers from the laptop, marching back to her desk with the computer tucked under her arm.

Kevin hears Korina screaming in the break room later, shaking his head.

“To the family of Intren Korina, please come by the station in the next twenty-four hours to receive your company compensation package. Our condolences.”

_________

“I feel so betrayed!” Kevin rolled his eyes at Vanessa typical dramatics when he walked into work on Monday morning. Or not-Monday morning since Monday’s had recently been branded as lies.

“What now?”

“I called dibs, that's what.” Vanessa leaned back in her chair and pointed at Kevin's desk. Expression fixed in a pout even though her hazel and gray eyes glinted with amusement.

“You’re lucky I like you so much or I would _totally_ try to murder you right now! Just like I murdered Ashlee when she tried to read the card!”

Kevin blinked at the vase of pale yellow roses sitting quietly on his desk. Not that roses generally made noises.

“Let me guess.” Kevin sighed as he crossed the room to his desk, poking at the glass vase with a pen as if it would bite him.

That had happened once before.

Glassware could be very tempermental.

“Yep.” Vanessa answered his unasked question. “Though I don't know how he got them in here in the first place.” Vanessa shrugged and leaned further into her chair. “They were here this morning when I got here and the lock wasn't tampered with or anything.”

“Hey Vi, come help with this for a second!”

“Coming Curtis!” Vanessa slid out of her chair and rolled her eyes at Kevin as a form of protest.

As she turned the corner Kevin caught sight of a daffodil yellow rose tucked behind her ear. Her hair twisted around the thorns. She flashed another one of her guiltless grins before she slid around the corner.

Kevin plucked a rose from the vase and curled his fingers around it. The thorns stung and the copper scent of blood filled his senses with pain and flashes of scarlet.

Blood and a bright smile. It hurt, but he didn't care. He pressed his skin deeper into the thorns.

_______________________

“Coffee? He'd love to!” Kevin's head snaps up at Vanessa's chirping songbird voice and nearly had a heart attack.

He managed to cut into the conversation with a level voice- a skill he has years of radio experience to thank for- even though his pulse has escalated to a certainly unhealthy rate.

“I would love to, but I have interviews. We've lost a few interns. In the past week or so.” Kevin shot a chiding glare at Vanessa even though he found her commitment to the job admirable and even a little endearing.

Vanessa doesn't seem to notice or care, fingers dancing across her laptop keyboard with a myriad of satisfying clicks.

“You don't have any interviews today.” Vanessa tilted her head at Kevin, perplexed but clearly not innocent. “I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I cleared your afternoon for you.”

Vanessa turned to flash her smile at Diego. “Excuse us.”

“Kevin, can I speak to you about those interviews? I'd be happy to take care of this misunderstanding.” Vanessa jerked her head towards the break room.

...

“No.” Kevin objected as soon as the break room door shut with a click.

“Yes.” Vanessa prompted eyes shining like a hawk as her fingers drummed against the coffee-and- blood-splattered-counter.

“I am not having coffee with him.”

“Why not? You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

“I don't think that expression is meant to be taken literally enough to warrant dating them.”

“Oh come on Kev, it's just coffee. How bad could it be? Besides it would do you good to go. You're turning into a bit of a workaholic.”

He couldn't help but scoff at the blatant irony of that statement but as usual Vanessa pressed on regardless. “You go have fun and I'll oversee the interviews.”

“That thought terrifies me.”

Vanessa smiled. “It'll be fine, I'll be nice.”

Kevin plucked a wooden coffee stir from the cup next to the coffee maker and stabbed Vanessa's hand with it. “We'll talk about this later.” He hissed.

She bounced on her heels, still grinning with that way she had. “Oh you bet we will!” She called as Kevin stalked off.

“Love you too Kev!”

_______________

“I'm under the impression that you don't like me very much."

“Really? What on Earth would give you that idea.” Kevin wasn't in the mood to check his tone in front of his superior. If Mr Santos insisted on unprofessional formalities then he was going to get them. Kevin could hardly care less if he was practically hissing in the other man's face and all but asking to be fired.

“Was it the fact that I disagreed with your company's…. negotiation methods? Isn't that what you called them?”

Diego flinched.

Kevin didn't know a man like Diego Santos would be capable of flinching but he hardly let it sway him. A beat of silence passed; Diego's unnaturally black eyes gleaming with undecipherable emotion.

“I'm sorry.”

This. This did throw Kevin for a loop.

“And I'm supposed to believe that?” Kevin snapped.

“They were going to kill you Kev. Would you believe that?"

He would.

“They wanted to kill you because you had rebelled and fought for so long against them."

“Against _you_ , you mean.”

Diego conceded the correction with no protest. Another beat passes and again Diego is the one to break it.

“Do you know what my surname means?”

“It's an old Spanish surname that translates to Saint.” Diego seemed impressed by this.

“My Head Intern- Vanessa, she's extremely dedicated to her research.” Diego smiled at this, an actual smile. Soft and somewhat regretful.

“They were going to kill you, I didn't let them. I saw you standing in front of the radio station and I thought to myself; there is a man who is willing to die for what he believes in and I didn't let you.”

“And I suppose you expect me to be grateful for your show of “mercy?”

“I'm not a saint."

“We finally agree on something then. Quite poetic for StrexCorp’s purposes I must admit. Their God and their Saint. Pity for you, considering that to my knowledge saints die horrible deaths.”

“We all have something we would die for. Yours is your town.”

______

Kevin paced the carpeted floor of his bedroom as the phone rang. Each ring that passed saw him pacing wall to wall. Kuzco, watched with yellow eyes gleaming. Tail twitching and eyes slitted as he caught sight of the device that was evidently the source of his master's distress.

“Yes?”

Kuzco twitched his ears at the voice that floated through the phone speaker. Kevin inhaled and exhaled to compose himself, lifting his chin and feeling only slightly ridiculous doing so since Diego couldn't see it.

“It's Kevin…I'm calling for entirely selfish reasons.”

“Entirely.” Diego echoed. Kevin would have to be deaf not to hear the amusement in his tone.

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Yes.” Kevin insisted.

“Go on.”

“...I was calling to find out if you'd be available for coffee next week.”

“Of course.”

_____________

“One question: What did you do before?”

“Before?” Diego mused.

“Before StrexCorp; there's always a before.”

Diego shrugged. "I was a phycologist.”

“Sub branch of science.”

“Yes. Thank you! God if I hear another person call it a pseudo-science- it's perfectly valid!”

“Of course, but I fail to see how that put you here.”

“You're very inquisitive.”

“I'm trying to piece you together.” Kevin replied smoothly.

“They thought I was a people person. It's okay, you can laugh. In reality they wanted someone who had a vague idea of how to get into people's heads.”

“Well I'd say that turned out rather well for you.” Kevin knew that the statement was supposed to sound bitter but he wasn't sure he pulled it off that way.

“I've certainly gotten into your head. I'd call that a success.” ____________________________________________

Diego calls Kevin angel. Leave me alone! :)

 

But now... 

Now we have Charles! :)


End file.
